Monday, July 6, 2009

I've gotta be doing something wrong

Soo, I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but Revlon is one of my favorite drugstore brands. I love their super lustrous lipsticks, their Colorstay foundations, powders, eyeshadows, polishes, and liners. However, Revlon has this most excellent knack of creating crap to balance out the good. Talk about good vs. evil, seriously.

When I saw the beautiful Jennifer Connolly seductively putting on her new Colorstay Ultimate liquid lipstick. I had to do everything in my power not to rush out and buy the damn thing at one in the morning (Cheeks decided to be social.). I also practiced temperance when I saw the tube of promise at the drugstore. No! I was going to wait for a sale. I could live without having a "food-proof, ultra conditioning" lip color for just another week. I regularly check Make-Up on the Cheap's blog for the weekly sales, and then it happened! Revlon was on BOGO sale. This was when I said to hell with moderation, packed Cheeks in his infant car seat, snapped him in the back seat, and high-tailed it to Rite Aide. During the car ride, I explained to Cheeks the importance of having a non-transfer-doesn't-budge lipstick. Sure, I have others, but this one...Well, this one promised so much:
"Food-proof lip color with a built-in, ultra-conditioning topcoat.
One-step application- No topcoat required for comfortable wear.
Stays comfortable and wears beautifully for up to 12 hours.
Does not feather or fade; no touch-ups required, even after meals.
Available in 20 full-coverage, soft satin shades." (from the Revlon site)

Guess what! I shake my fist at Revlon. I shake it vigorously. I would rather spread latex paint all over my lips than sport this caca. That's right, I equated the liquid lip color to caca. My first impression of this lip product was so disappointing, I knew I had to be doing something wrong. There is no way Revlon--my favorite brand, the same brand that produces the super lustrous lippies--could create such an uncomfortable lipstick. How should I describe the sensation of the lipstick on my lips? Hmm...First off, this lip crap is thin in the tube. So applying is a little interesting because thin lip product and doe foot applicator does go together. The doe foot just smears the product around on the lips without evenly placing it on my lips. So when I am done putting on this stuff, I have a distinct line around the edges of my lip and a thin layer on the rest of the lip. Then, I can't apply more because another layer will just add to the mess. My finger won't help the distribution because the product rapidly gets tacky and becomes reluctant to move. Also, since the formula is so thin, the product settles in my grooves. Therefore, my lips look older and drier than they ever were.

When I initially put this on and had the above mentioned experience I figured the product just needed time to settle. It never settled. As a matter of fact the product just got more uncomfortable. My lips would stick to each other when pressed together. The sweet tarts I bought stuck to my lip (gives a whole new meaning to "sugar lips"), and there was no luster to the look. I understand that longer lasting lippies will be matte, but this product states that it "wears beautifully" and it has the "built-in ultra conditioning topcoat." Did my batch forget the friggin' topcoat? I can't even smooth my lips against each other. How in the world will the Scholar want to continue kissing me if it feels like I have a glue trap on my lips? Is this what Revlon insinuates when they show the models kissing the man endlessly? It isn't that the man (also a model) wants to repeatedly kiss the woman; it is that the man cannot pry himself away.

I got a tag line for this liquid lip color, "Trap your partner's lips like the Venus Fly trap." Again, very sexy.

Oh, and this is very difficult to remove. I have to steal Cheek's baby oil to take it off. It seriously feels like a layer of sticky shellac. So, it does last long, but at what cost?
You know what, I could further discuss the disappointment that is this lip product, but I am just going to move on.

Readers, my beautiful, dear readers, please let me know if I am doing something wrong. Has anyone else tried these Liquid lip colors? What has been your experience?

As far as ratings, you already know what I am going to give it: 1 out of 5 happy wallets. I gave it a "1" because it doesn't smell at all and it is food proof.

Price: regular price, $10-11 (don't even get me started!)
Places: drugstores
Shades I got: Premium Pink and Maximum Mocha.

Ultimate Colorstay tubes

ultimate colorstay swatches
They look pretty here. All shimmery and alluring

Revlon Colorstay Ultimate Liquid lip
Not but maybe 1.5 hours later. Pretty much looks the same as first application. See, lips look lifeless. I did eat two hot dogs, popcorn, and drink water while wearing. Not much change. It just doesn't look pretty though.


Recessionista! said...

T!!!! Dude!!! Did you miss my review on this a while back? I could have rescued you from the clutches of this matte glue stick that is masquerading around as a long-wear liquid lipcolor! Sorry you had to go through this, but it's good to know that I'm not alone in my sheer hatred of this product. :)

T said...

R, no, I totally missed that one. How did that happen. Oh man. I think I was so excited that I just had tunnel vision. The suck!

I am glad I wasn't doing something wrong. It really is the product. Fail!

Thanks for validating me.

Elvira said...

T: I love your reviews. they are always awesome! I must say I have yet to find a long wear lip color that does not feel like complete a$$! That is until I forked over the money for a Chanel ROUGE DOUBLE INTENSITÉ - ULTRA WEAR LIP COLOUR (Copy & pasted from the website) Granted they have a very small color selection but evilbay has more and they rock!

T said...

Thanks, Elvira, as are yours ;-)

You know one day, I will graduate to buying one Chanel red lipstick. Maybe after having another child or landing the best-fit job. I will mark the momentous occasion by buying luxurious makeup.
For instance, I got the 187 after a pay raise. I got some MAC makeup (not luxurious, but you know, not drugstore) when I was nearing the labor date.

One day, E, one day. Maybe you will be there to guide me. That would be sweet!

Bedalyz said...

"That's right, I equated the liquid lip color to caca" Ay Dios mío, I laughed (and still laughing) so hard after reading that!!!! Can't beat that analogy.

Recessionista and you have saved me from buying this stuff, I thought they looked amazing.

You know, I tried the Revlon Double Twist Mascara and it was so bad, I thought the same thing: "Am I doing something wrong here?" Ugh.

T, I love your blog. Not only your reviews, but the way you write. Awesome.

T said...

Hi Beda!
thank you so very much for the compliment. I am glad that these reviews are useful. Thank you for the revlon mascara review. I avoided it thanks to you.

T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle (Lipstick Rules) said...

OMG - what a great review! I just did one too but you've captured it so much more eloquently. I thought it was an okay product but my lips felt soooooooo dry which I didn't like.

T said...

Michelle, it crazy, isn't it? I mean, the product looks so promising and pretty. What a let down. boo hiss. Thanks for commenting.